Yet Another Fic in Which MarySue is Destroyed
by Elf Princess Bloom
Summary: Bubbles, world domination, and the tiniest bit of slash. And no, I don't take this one seriously.


Once there was a very handsome (yet terribly snobby) young man named Draco, who's daddy was super rich. So, naturally, Draco had the best of everything: clothes, hair care products, the occasional llama for all intensive purposes, and, women. His main squeeze-of-the-moment was a tall blonde with bright blue eyes and bubbling personality suggesting she knew nothing beyond that meadow of prancing puppies and rainbows that was so obviously her thought process. Her name was Mary-Sue.

On the day in question they were enjoying the beautiful afternoon indoors, rolling around in giant piles of money. Without warning, Mary-Sue had an idea.

"I've got a FABULOUS idea!" she shrieked, jumping to her feet, a finger pointed in the air.

"You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" Draco asked, startled.

She whipped a tiny mirror out of her purse and began to thoroughly inspect her face, "no, I don't think so."

"So what was your idea?"

"Oh... erm. You distracted me and now I've forgotten. I think it had to do with the world, though."

"That's BRILLIANT!" cried Draco, obviously very excited, "We'll take over the world!"

"Yeah," she gave a nervous laugh, "that's _exactly_ what I was going to say."

"So how do you propose we go about doing it?"

"Umm... bubbles?"

"You're a mother-flipping genius!" He shouted, the excitement swelling to overwhelming proportions.

Mary-Sue was at this point trying to figure out how to go about flipping her mother. This whole process of thinking was causing her to become dizzy. Finally, in a fit of panic, she collapsed into Draco's arms. Immediately turned on by her show of damsel in distress, he threw her to the floor intent on making sweet, sweet love to her (eww, het). However all he succeeded in doing was knocking her unconscious. So, leaving her to her nap, he decided to prance off to his secret laboratory and devise some world-owning plan involving bubbles.

Three days, thirty six cups of coffee and 12 unexpected shopping sprees later, the happy couple was prepared to put their devious plan into effect. The original plan was to sneak into the White House by tunneling underground, but both decided upon inspection that the dirt, dampness, and general lack of happy would simply be hell on their complections. So they went in via the front door.

They strode up to President Bush, who was at the time engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a vending machine. Draco cleared his throat, illiciting the attention of those around him.

"We're here," he announced, rather pompously, "to take over the world. So, uh, hand it over, and nobody gets hurt."

The president blinked. Then blinked again. Finally, "Gah! I've got something in my eye! Mind helping me out here?"

Draco sighed and moved towards him, ready to brush the offending eyelash to oblivion.

"Draco, no! It's a TRICK!" Mary-sue cried, pulling a small jar from her purse and opening it.

She removed the wand from the jar of bubbles and blew a few in the direction of Bush. One hit him smack in the middle of the forehead, popping and oozing bubble juice of doom all down his face.

"Bubbles! My only weakness... how did you know?" Stunned, he fell into a catatonic state on the floor in front of the vending machine, where he remained for all of eternity.

"YES! The world is OURS!" Mary-Sue screamed triumphantly.

"Wait!" Came a voice out of nowhere.

They all watched as Harry Potter stepped out of the shadows, holding a rose.

"This isn't right! I've tried to supress my feelings long enough. I just can't hold my love back any longer-"

"Oh Harry! I Love you too!" Mary-Sue swooned right on to the floor next to Bush, knocking herself out again.

"Actually," At this Harry stepped over her motionless body and moved toward Draco, offering the rose.

Draco was speechless- he had never considered boys before. But he had to admit that the sight of Harry standing there with those jeans so impressively tight was making him all hot and bothered.

"Fuck it, the world is _ours_," He smirked, kissing and groping him right there in front of, well, the world. For news crews had gathered like vultures all around and were filming the act of soft core porn with a sick delight.

Bush twitched in his unconscious state. Mary-Sue melted into a puddle on the floor and was promptly squeegeed onto the front lawn. And Harry and Draco ruled the world with an iron fist for twenty years until they were overthrown by an uprising of transexual robots and were forced to go live in a cave. They grew long beards, ate bugs, and remained a sickeningly sweet couple until their dying days.


End file.
